


fallingforyou

by orphan_account



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7802545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lip and Fiona always had a fucked up relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fallingforyou

Lip and Fiona always had a fucked up relationship, and that only intensified when their mother-father dynamic was established. Suddenly, without warning, Lip wasn't like Fiona's son anymore. She saw him as her equal, like a wife saw her husband.

* * *

Lip was sixteen when Fiona realized that he was her rock, her armor, and the only constant in her life. Steve was like the weather reporter — unreliable at best. Lip wasn't afraid to tell her that, a cigarette pursed between his lips and his eyebrows raised with an attitude that he'd possessed practically since birth. When Fiona needed anything, Lip was there. Most of the time, she never even had to say anything. He was just _there,_ and that meant a lot more to Fiona than Steve's random gifts and appearances. Steve was shady and spontaneous, while Fiona knew her brother like the back of her hand. She appreciated that a hell of a lot more than she let on.

* * *

Lip was seventeen when the whole Karen debacle happened, and Fiona was both happy and upset at the same time. The thing was that she never hated Karen Jackson — at least not until she broke Lip's heart and ran away from him and the baby that turned out not to be his. She'd been happy for Lip until then, which was contrary to how she'd feel for Debbie years later. The difference was that Lip was responsible and nearly an adult, with a sense of wisdom far beyond his years, and Fiona loved him in a different way than she loved Debs.

"Lip," she'd called from down the hospital hallway, causing him to turn around and look at her for a brief moment before walking away. When he returned home, Fiona was overjoyed, jumping to throw her arms around Lip's neck and smiling harder than she'd ever smiled in her entire twenty-three years of life. Even though he'd been dealt a shitty hand, he still came back.  _He still came back._

* * *

Lip was eighteen when Fiona realized that she was in love with her little brother, and she had a full-blown panic attack when she came to that revelation. They were sitting in the kitchen by themselves at four a.m., passing a joint back and forth, and Fiona was fretting over the overdue mortgage payment.

"You know, I can get the money," Lip said. He was sleepily twirling one of his brunette curls with one hand and inhaling the marijuana with the other, and Fiona loved seeing him like this — peaceful and serene, despite the circumstance that they found themselves in.

"Lip, you have school to worry about. I'm your guardian. I signed up for this," Fiona insisted, combing her hair away from her face with her fingers and exhaling quietly.

"Fi, we're family," Lip countered. _Family._ The word resonated with Fiona like the ringing of someone's ears when a gun went off nearby (the Gallaghers knew all too well about that feeling). "We take care of each other."

Then, he dropped his left hand from his head and grabbed Fiona's palm, rubbing the back of it with his thumb, and Fiona realized.

"It's not supposed to be that way," she choked out. It was like the air had been sucked from her lungs, and it was indescribably difficult to hold the conversation at hand. _Holy fuck,_ she thought. _I'm in love with Lip. I'm in love with my **brother.**_

"Fiona, it's not really a big de —"

Fiona stood up and walked over to her purse, pulling the bottle of Ativan from it and taking a tablet.

"I'm your guardian," she persisted, the pill sliding down her throat slowly.

"But you're not my mother," Lip argued. "You're not, and you've never been. Maybe you're like a mom to Liam, Carl, Debbie, and maybe Ian, too, but you're not to me."

Fiona passed him a single glance, noticing how his blue eyes were wide and pleading, and she simply walked upstairs, the rest of that conversation avoided.

She lied awake that night, feeling guilty and sick, and she woke up to an envelope full of cash in the mason jar in the kitchen.

* * *

Lip was twenty when Fiona fucked up beyond repair.

"You've always wanted to be the mom in this house, but you're acting like a fucking child!" Lip shouted in her face. "Liam almost _died,_ and you're still acting like the victim here!"

"I said that I'm _sorry_!" Fiona yelled back, tears in her eyes. She was, too. "I don't know when things got so fucked up," she said in a softer voice. Lip laughed.

"We're Gallaghers," he replied bitterly. "We've always been fucked up."

Fiona remembered when the two of them were little, and all Fiona wanted was to take care of her brother. When Lip was injured or when he got into a fight, Fiona was always there, doing her best to help him, no matter what the circumstance was. Now, it felt like their roles had been reversed. Lip was suddenly the parent taking care of everyone, and Fiona felt a stronger combination of love and guilt than she'd ever felt in her life. Frank and Monica had always been the fuck-ups. Fiona never imagined that she'd become one, too. She never _wanted_ to. It just... _happened_.

"If you think that an apology is going to fix this," Lip continued, refusing to look at his sister anymore, "then you're even more delusional than I thought you were."

Then, Lip turned his head and kissed Fiona forcefully, angrily, and desperately. They were sitting on Fiona's bed with the door shut, but anyone could come rushing in at any moment. Neither of them cared. Lip was pissed, Fiona was feeling an abundance of emotions at once, but they both had one thing in common.

They were sorry — for different reasons, albeit, but they were still guilty about things. Fiona almost killed Liam, and she was in love with Lip, who felt like he should've done something to prevent this entire mess.

Lip fucked her into her sheets that night — tears running down Fiona's cheeks as she choked back both sobs and moans and Lip quieting his sex sounds by harshly biting Fiona's collarbone. He rose from her bed at six a.m., putting his clothes back on and trying not to wake Fiona. She lied there silently and pretended to be asleep until he left. Then she let herself cry for real.

They never talked about it, but there was an aura around the two of them for the next several weeks that was unfamiliar to everyone. Ian looked at Fiona the next morning when she walked into the kitchen, and he just knew. The deep bruise on her chest and the eldest Gallagher siblings' snappy behaviors kind of gave them away, but Ian never said anything, either. It was just another family thing that was a forbidden topic — like Monica's attempted suicide at Thanksgiving dinner, Jimmy's sudden departure, and that time when Debbie kidnapped a baby. They just ignored it, allowing it to burn holes in their souls and attempting to erase it from their memories completely.

Fiona fucked up again a few weeks later, but Lip couldn't find it in his heart to get angry this time. Instead, he gathered her into his arms and let her whisper tearful apologies into the crook of his neck as she cried.

"I'm just glad you're alright," he said, and it was honest. Lip pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek and rocked their bodies comfortingly. "I'm really, _really_ fucking glad."

* * *

Lip was twenty-two when he realized that he was in love with his big sister.

"So, who's giving the bride away?" the priest asked, Lip and Ian raising their hands in reply, and it was like the reality of the situation finally set in. Fiona was getting married — for real this time, and Lip didn't want her to. It wasn't like he didn't want her to be happy, because he did. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Fiona. The dam that he'd unknowingly built in his mind broke, and Lip finally understood why his bond with his sister was stronger than his bond with any of his friends, family members, girlfriends, or siblings. He understood why he had sex with her two years before. He understood why he paid the mortgage bill without a second thought.

Lip finally understood that he was in love with Fiona, and then he felt like he might vomit for the second time in thirty minutes. Frank appeared a split second later — fucking _Frank_ — ruining everything, and all Lip could see was red. _How could you hurt her like this, especially on her wedding day?_ he thought as he punched his father in the face. _You and Monica are the reasons why I feel like this. Why are you two so fucked up that you have to fuck everyone else up, too?_

At home, with Fiona changed into pajama pants and a sports bra, Lip kissed her on the lips.

"You looked beautiful today," he whispered, their foreheads pressed together. "You always look beautiful, but you looked even more so today."

Fiona said nothing, just looked into Lip's blue eyes with her brown ones, and she offered a small smile.

"I love you, Fi. You know that, right?"

Fiona nodded, her heart thudding against her chest so hard that she thought that surely Lip must hear it.

"I'm leaving for rehab today. I wanted to wait until after your wedding to tell you that," he started. "I'm gonna get better — for you, for Ian, for myself. I need to get my shit together, y'know?"

Veronica was the one who'd broken the news of Lip's college stance to Fiona, despite his request for her _not_ to. Lip supposed that it was better that way. Between his drunken confession at the Alibi and now, he hadn't had much time to be sober. He'd had even _less_ time to have that conversation with his sister.

"I don't wanna end up like Frank," he admitted, Debbie's earlier words to him imprinted on his brain.

"I know," she whispered. "I know."

Then, she kissed him back, a single tear falling down her cheek — the first since Frank exposed Sean's drug use during her wedding ceremony. She couldn't be upset. That would be hypocritical. She was just glad that Lip wasn't trying to make excuses like she did and that he was getting help. More importantly, Fiona was glad that he was safe.

Fiona hugged Lip, her fingers combing through his curly brown hair as she breathed in his scent.

"Thank you," she said, voice thick with emotion.

"For what?" Lip pondered aloud. Fiona took a shaky breath, closing her eyes and tightening her grip around her brother's neck.

"For everything."

**Author's Note:**

> I deleted this work a month or so ago on accident, so I decided to repost it. I find the relationship between Lip and Fiona to be very interesting, and, frankly, I'm surprised that they haven't gone the incest route with the characters yet. It'd be very _Shameless_ -esque.


End file.
